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Light-bulbLaundry List of things that don't work right in FarmVille

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by John Brown - Jul 21, 2010 Star_s4,027 views

Open letter to Mark Pincus, CEO of Zynga.  Thought you guys might get a kick out of it.
 
Hi, Mark!
It's me again.  I know I promised to give you a little time to get your act together at Zynga, but I really didn't mean for you to take care of all those laundry list items and screw up FarmVille at the same time.  That's a joke, by the way, because the silence coming from Zynga on ALL of these issues is all we get from you.
Let's review, shall we?

You rolled out the long-awaited Farmer's Market.  Millions could not access their farms for a week, and when they finally got into their farms, the sound of that awful theme song for FarmVille was drowned out by a collective, worldwide yawn.

We get what out of that exactly?  A few XP? Some gas? There hasn't been a bigger disappointment since Geraldo opened Al Capone's safe.

You rolled out the ability for players to wrangle a Mustang, in an effort to get email addresses from folks.  Naturally, that didn't work so well, either, so you said you were disabling it while you worked on a fix.  That was months ago, no?  Still no fix?  Just how complicated can it be to have an event generate an email?

You rolled out the Tuscan Wedding...that was last November or something, wasn't it?  I know people who have actually fallen in love, planned HUGE weddings, gone on their honeymoon and come home in less time than you've had all these minions sending me olives, eggs, truffles and goats milk.  (What's the deal with this, anyway?  Did you get threatened by someone in Tuscany if you made it a reasonable duration?)  

As you know, millions of people could not use the Wedding Tent feature for the longest time.  Now that we can, we're done.  I mean seriously done.  I'm to the point now where I can't even LOOK at an egg in real life without becoming annoyed.  Enough already.  Would it be possible to KILL this feature without screwing up other things?  If so, why don't you just run along and take care of that for me, willya?

You rolled out pregnant pigs and piglets, in an effort to lure in new players.  Millions could not access their farms for a week, so you shut it down to fix it.  Now some rocket scientist who draws a paycheck from you (correction, from ME and millions like ME) decided to re-enable that feature, and guess what?  Not only does it still not work properly, but it's caused problems for millions. Again.
You tried to reintroduce the Black Stallion after one of your idiot children accidentally put them in the Marketplace for 40,000 coins.  Not what you expected, was it?  So what did you do?  You killed off ALL stallions and breeding while you were going to 'fix' it.  Guess what?  It's still not fixed. People are generating foals but not being paid for their hard work.  No coins, no XP, no nothing. Again, another 'feature' that you've introduced in a very half-assed manner, and one that does not work properly at all.

Mark, do you see a pattern here?  I sure do, and guess what?  I'm not done yet. You rolled out the iPhone app.  Great idea.  The demo of it was awesome.  Sadly we now know that the demo was conducted on a server that had ONE farm on it instead of the thousands that are normally on a server.  Many of us were able to load our farm ONCE.  Millions cannot get the app to work at all, despite two updates.  

Lest we forget, it was those White Apple trees that caused millions of us to go Out of Sync for days. I'm not sure that part of it is fixed yet, because like millions of my fellow farmers, I still can't get the crappy application to load my farm.

You killed the Zynga Message Center. Why? Because it was too easy for us to collect and return gifts? No, because we all figured out that we could use it to accept those White Apple Trees of Death.  Mark, I know you people know how to do a message center/gift exchange.  The one in YoVille works pretty well when it shows up.  The one in Zynga Poker is epic.  Not only does it take fewer clicks to accept and return chips, but the thing is SMART enough to know when I've reached my limit, and instead of burning that last request that would've put me over my limit, it just tells me to try again tomorrow and saves it.  Why in the world can't you people just pull whoever created it and get them to work on the FarmVille part?

You rolled out the 'Lightning Collections', without so much as a word or an explanation as to the purpose, and, of course, problems crept up with millions of farms as a result.  Again.You rolled out Beehives.  The instructions you gave were pretty decent (yep, credit where credit is due), but you still really haven't explained the purpose of these, nor have you demonstrated at all WHY we should even participate in this fiasco.  

The one thing I know about beehives is this:  Having a beehive means I now have to tend my farm every other day or I will lose all the work it took to gather the bees.  You know what that means to me?  That means that the Unwither Ring you sold me is basically worthless now.  I bought that ring so that I could leave my farm for a week if I wanted to, and come back to it just like I left it.  Now if I go on a 3 day vacation, I'll come back and have to go gather bees to refill my hive again.
The way I see it, that gold ring is now made of tin, and the fifty bucks (those are US dollars, Mark - not the monopoly money you people toss around like paper) I spent on the Unwither Ring were an investment made in good faith, and now you've made it so it was a very pointless purchase.
Now, you're rolling out these Craft Cottages, and for what return on our effort? A little fuel? 30 coins? 10XP?  I'm not sure anybody really knows, and God knows you're not just going to come out and tell us.  It'll be left up to the many fan sites out there to figure that out and pass the word along.  Hell, I think even that schmuck from FVF may figure it out before you get around to sharing that information with us.  Oh, and by the way?  Coincidence or not, THIS feature rollout has also kept millions of us from our farms.

Zynga, once again, has demonstrated itself to be long on promises (when they communicate with us at all) and short on delivery.  

Now, please - get back to work.  No more cutesy decorations, no more markets, no more dogs that nobody can feed (one cannot feed one's dog unless one can actually get into one's farm, now can one?), no nothing until you get some of the above items actually working.
Oh, and Mark?  Just on the off-chance that you're NOT reading these....I took the liberty to copy both letters and send them, Certified Mail, to all the Venture Capital firms who have shown the poor judgment to invest in Zynga.  

I figure since Zynga isn't listening, perhaps the folks who expect profits will listen.  It's really sad when the voices of your own customers aren't enough to make you respond or perform, so maybe the guys who hold the BIG purse strings may get your attention.

Love and kisses,
John Brown

PS - I cannot wait - I mean I am literally counting the days - until you decide to take the company public.  You'll recognize me, I'll be the one at the very first Shareholder meeting, asking these same questions and demanding that the Board of Directors put you permanently Out of Sync.

Replies (73)

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I still have Out of Sync issues. I am sick of it. Nothing works right for me. There is no legal action you can take regarding anything lost on any zyngz game. You need to read the TOS. You agree to it just by d/l of their games. Besides Zynga games will be forever behind the BETA label; so they will never have be held legally responsible. They give they take away.

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Ask yourself this question, if you were a developer or the c.e.o. of Farmville, and received profit from the players of Farmville, would you be happy that people are taking your game seriously. Or even interested in playing even though there are so many glitches. People spend real money on the game because it's a fun game to play, and as an adult, you can spend your own money anyway you want to. Farmville has fans, loyal fans, but talk is cheap. For those who have spent money and did not receive their items, if there isn't a Farmville policy that states other wise, legal action should be the next step.

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Awesome.....many friends of mine experienced out of sync for every 30 secs the last couple of days. One even went ahead and got zynga credit her an unwither spray and all the lost items for the fiasco. This OOS is terrible.... we are even scared to move a single thing around the farm lest it goes OOS and we lose our stuff. Zynga's reply rate is 10 : 1 ie if you write 10 mails , they will reply to 1 and that you a generic mail stating to look for answer in some link where they write some general stuff and think of solving all problems. Say ou want to know about animals getting out of stablesand vanishing , they will ask you to look up for stable link which may contain info on the capacity of stable. :D Life is boring and tough if you wish to visit farm everyday..I do so occassionally( when I have nothing else to do in the world) , so I guess I am saved of all the trauma, disappointment and stress! We should all boycott FV for a day and pass on a demand list with scores of signatures, then publish in newspapers for all. Lets see if they will take notice of that.

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love u john!!!

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i agree with this complaint several people quit playing because they said this was crap.they couldnt do things on there farms when they needed to.so they said this was a waist of time and went back to playing pogo games.

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Get rid of all those damn pop-ups and I'll be extremely happy! I don't need to be told who is doing a co-op. If I want to do one, I'll look myself! And get rid of that stupid pop-up for Mafia Wars. In fact, get rid of 90% of those pop-ups so we can actually PLAY the game for a change!

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Thank you John Brown, I hope you get some sort of response - and not a canned reply like we all get when we send in a support ticket! :)

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It sure would be nice if Zynga wasn't always saving your farm or Farmville is Enhanced click here. I might just be able to play this game. It is getting to the point where I do not play as often as I used to and I sure as Hell will not spend real money for this game to purchase items I can not use.

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what i'd like to see is a Zynga "just farm september"

yeah, a whole month where they refuse to add anything so that i can actually play without all the crashes and loading problems i get every time something stupid is added

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I want to know why the price for the 26x26 is so high? I didn't pay that much for my villa. If I want to add new Items, got to get rid of something on my farm. I understand all that you all are saying and agree with wholeheartedly. Something has got to be done..NOW!!! If the present staff can't do it.........move on and let someone else try. They couldn't do any worse. As my dad use to say,"even a blind sqrrl gets lucky and finds an acorn". They might just do that by accident.. I have told some of my FV friends after waiting 30/40 min in the small hours of morning, afternoon, evening and still can't get on and when I do, freezes up and you wait ....again. I could go on and on but, I would be repeating what the rest has said. I am about ready to let this farm go in to foreclosure and move on down the road.

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I just wanted to add a voice from the other side...I have had no major problems with any Zynga games, and I play ALOT of them...no things not showing up, or disappearing, market stalls work fine, my prego pig worked well, the pop ups do get a little annoying but it only takes a millisecond to get past them, I would say most of the problems come from you folks trying to play the game with your little toy computers, I have an new i7 quad core 2.85ghz, 8g of mem, 1T of HD, ati radeon 5800 w/1gig video mem...and there are no problems

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you say we can get aqll of our gifts on one page yet when we accept them, they don't go to our farms. like our mystery boxes and our bees. please tell me what is going on. thankyou

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ADD: Yesterday I harvested 5 crops and only one went into a market stall. I harvested Lady Slippers, stored in Flower Shed and when tried to place them there was nothing there but it still deducted them from my shed. Have placed dozens of bushel on the feed that say expired in 4 seconds or less never to be claimed. Accepting Mystery Boxes takes me to a white page and thus no gift, so far only those as I can accept anything I don't really want or need just fine. AND let's not forget to mention the ENDLESS pop-ups asking us to add so and so as a neighbor (who I already deleted as a neighbor months ago because they no longer play), or send them a grab bag, or send a thank you, or share a gem with everyone on my gift list, or several for that matter, or send a mystery gift to this person and that person, or before I can place my own gifts I have to get a pop-up taking me to the GIVE gifts page first. And now today while I'm trying to do my crops I am getting pop-ups advertising that if I want more fuel to play Mafia Wars!!! I have more fuel than 10 people would ever use and if i wanted to play Mafia Wars I would. I've had it Zynga and I have told you in many many emails in the last few days!!! We all have!! GRRRRRR

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What happend with the 'wandering stallion'? It's gone without any notice at all!!

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Market stalls are not working properly. For some reason sugar cane does not show up to be used in the winery after harvesting. Just harvested over 2 bushels and NADA is showing up to use in the stall. As for the bees, I love the bees and having all of my crops fertilized by them, also I have held on to a dozen in my gift box to use when I am away for more than 2 days. The unwither shouldn't work on anything other than crops, so didn't agree with your statement about that and bees. I also have neighbors disappear from the bottom of the farmville screen.

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One thing you missed in your letter: Missing animals. I had bought with real money enough mystery crates to get two white stallions (trust me it wasn't just two crates) and I bought two Clydesdale horses. For weeks the stallions and one Clydesdale have been missing. Zynga only sends canned responses to my e-mails. I feel that I paid for those items and whether virtual or not Zynga not providing them is out right theft of property. We thought Rock You was bad. Zynga makes them look golden which is sad because I was such a huge fan of theirs and spent loads of money on Fishville, Farmville and Petville. Now my bottom line is -GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK OR THE ITEMS I PAID FOR! The worst part is that their is nothing I can do.

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It was really nice to see someone put into writing to Zynga, and may I add, very eloquently, the thoughts and complaints of pretty much ALL the friends that I have on Farmville!!! Well Done!!!

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This game shouldn't be taken this seriously.I thnk even tho this isa great letter. I think people can find more important things to do than flame a game programmer.

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oh lala ....................well sayd

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